head like, what if nobody likes me? What if I end up with no friends? Will I be able
to make a good impression? Will people be nice to me? Will I be having lunch alone?
But the main thing every person wish is to be able to fit in with the others.Hopefully
my part of the story helps.
My high school days was bad and good. 5 years of high school and the first 3 years was
terrible. I was the quiet type at school. Never really spoke to anyone I don't know.
The friends I had was few. I'm a shy person and it's hard for me to make friends. I'm
not the famous one either. People don't really know me. Even the teachers can't
remember me. Things started to go bad when I was 14. I can't say that I had bad
friends but instead I could say that I don't know how to differenciate what's bad
and what's good. I cared for my friends when I was in that age and that's when I started
cutting myself when my I saw one of my friends did it. At first, I did it to make her
stop hurting herself. I thought if she saw that I'm hurting myself too that she would
stop but eventually she did and I couldn't. After that I start cutting for different
reasons. Mostly about family problems ( parents fighting ), boys, friends and me. It
became worst when I start cutting for the smallest reasons. I guess it's just that the
pain I felt was so good and I just want to keep doing it. I definitely cried a lot.
I just felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone. Everyone look down on me and thinks
that I shouldn't have born. Sometimes, I just feel like ending my life. Like there's
no point living. I was so sure that even when I'm gone people would be happy and my
situation became worst when I was 15. The friends I had back stabbed me and one of my
friend had a relationship on the guy I liked. She did it even when she knows that I
liked him. The worst part is, she didn't tell me about it until I found out by myself.
I just wish she would tell me. Yes, it would hurt but I'd still be happy for her if
she would just tell me about it. The guy didn't like me though. He liked her instead.
Eventually we became friends back but it didn't lasted that long. I found out from a
friend of mine that she was talking bad about me behind my back and it was all true.
Then I stopped being friends with her. Even the friend I thought who was my best
friend cause I know her since I was small back stabbed me. It does hurt to know that
the people you care are the ones hurting you and that time I just had one wish. That
is finish high school as fast as I can and go to college. Leave everything behind me
and start my life all over again.
By the time I left high school I was devastated. When I was 16 I stopped cutting
myself. The two last years of high school was actually the best. I had the best
class, the nicest class teacher and a group of the most amazing classmates. These
people change my high school life. They the one make it better for me. They make me
love high school and their the reason for my sadness of leaving high school. I never
thought that I would be sad leaving high school but I did. I have no idea whether
they know this but they the one who helped me to go through it. I can't thank them
enough for what they have done. I'm forever grateful and I will never ever forget
them. My love and prayers will always be with them till the end. Hopefully each and
one of them from that class will succeed in life and be the person they wanted to be.
Thank you, guys ( Nilamnians ) for everything and I love all of you.
Another person that I have to mentioned is my best friend, Aliah. She is also one of
the reasons for getting me through high school. I was friends with her since I was 13.
5 years of friendship and it still going on strong. She's not only my best friend but
my sister. She have been there for me since the beginning and hopefully she will be
there till the end. I know I would. This girl is the most amazing person I have ever
known and I don't think so I can find anyone like her. I'm glad that she is my best
friend. I love her so much and I know she is going to be one hell of a person. Best
friends forever and as you can say I'm so lucky to have a friend like her. Thank you
for everything.
Just remember this, why do you have to fit in when you were born to stand out? Do what
makes you happy and don't give a damn what other people think about you. Always try to
make the good choices and if you make a mistake try to learn from them. Lots of
friends will come and go but remember only the true ones will stay with you till the
end. So don't lose hope and never ever give up ! It's in your hand to make high
school the best year ever. Just be yourself and have fun while you're doing it. Life
becomes so much better when you decide not to care. Just live for the moment and don't
let the drama bring you down. Good luck. :)
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