High School

First day of high school can be scary. A lot of questions will be running through your
head like, what if nobody likes me? What if I end up with no friends? Will I be able
to make a good impression? Will people be nice to me? Will I be having lunch alone?
But the main thing every person wish is to be able to fit in with the others.Hopefully
my part of the story helps.

My high school days was bad and good. 5 years of high school and the first 3 years was
terrible. I was the quiet type at school. Never really spoke to anyone I don't know.
The friends I had was few. I'm a shy person and it's hard for me to make friends. I'm
not the famous one either. People don't really know me. Even the teachers can't
remember me. Things started to go bad when I was 14. I can't say that I had bad
friends but instead I could say that I don't know how to differenciate what's bad
and what's good. I cared for my friends when I was in that age and that's when I started
cutting myself when my I saw one of my friends did it. At first, I did it to make her
stop hurting herself. I thought if she saw that I'm hurting myself too that she would
stop but eventually she did and I couldn't. After that I start cutting for different
reasons. Mostly about family problems ( parents fighting ), boys, friends and me. It
became worst when I start cutting for the smallest reasons. I guess it's just that the
pain I felt was so good and I just want to keep doing it. I definitely cried a lot.
I just felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone. Everyone look down on me and thinks
that I shouldn't have born. Sometimes, I just feel like ending my life. Like there's
no point living. I was so sure that even when I'm gone people would be happy and my
situation became worst when I was 15. The friends I had back stabbed me and one of my
friend had a relationship on the guy I liked. She did it even when she knows that I
liked him. The worst part is, she didn't tell me about it until I found out by myself.
I just wish she would tell me. Yes, it would hurt but I'd still be happy for her if
she would just tell me about it. The guy didn't like me though. He liked her instead.
Eventually we became friends back but it didn't lasted that long. I found out from a
friend of mine that she was talking bad about me behind my back and it was all true.
Then I stopped being friends with her. Even the friend I thought who was my best
friend cause I know her since I was small back stabbed me. It does hurt to know that
the people you care are the ones hurting you and that time I just had one wish. That
is finish high school as fast as I can and go to college. Leave everything behind me
and start my life all over again.

By the time I left high school I was devastated. When I was 16 I stopped cutting
myself. The two last years of high school was actually the best. I had the best
class, the nicest class teacher and a group of the most amazing classmates. These
people change my high school life. They the one make it better for me. They make me
love high school and their the reason for my sadness of leaving high school. I never
thought that I would be sad leaving high school but I did. I have no idea whether
they know this but they the one who helped me to go through it. I can't thank them
enough for what they have done. I'm forever grateful and I will never ever forget
them. My love and prayers will always be with them till the end. Hopefully each and
one of them from that class will succeed in life and be the person they wanted to be.
Thank you, guys ( Nilamnians ) for everything and I love all of you.

Another person that I have to mentioned is my best friend, Aliah. She is also one of
the reasons for getting me through high school. I was friends with her since I was 13.
5 years of friendship and it still going on strong. She's not only my best friend but
my sister. She have been there for me since the beginning and hopefully she will be
there till the end. I know I would. This girl is the most amazing person I have ever
known and I don't think so I can find anyone like her. I'm glad that she is my best
friend. I love her so much and I know she is going to be one hell of a person. Best
friends forever and as you can say I'm so lucky to have a friend like her. Thank you
for everything.


Just remember this, why do you have to fit in when you were born to stand out? Do what
makes you happy and don't give a damn what other people think about you. Always try to
make the good choices and if you make a mistake try to learn from them. Lots of
friends will come and go but remember only the true ones will stay with you till the
end. So don't lose hope and never ever give up ! It's in your hand to make high
school the best year ever. Just be yourself and have fun while you're doing it. Life
becomes so much better when you decide not to care. Just live for the moment and don't
let the drama bring you down. Good luck. :)

New 2013 Hairdo

Always wanted to have bangs and finally had the guts to do it. :D

Happy Red Nose Day, everyone ! xx ♥ :D

Happy Red Nose Day, everyone ! xx ♥ :)

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One Direction's Louis & Niall see what two boys have to do to survive | ...

Make a difference. :) ♥

I wasn't a happy kid. I'm always with problems and always sad. Used to cry a lot and hate living. I'm not a big fan of my dad. Hated him a lot even now. When I was a kid, I didn't like him because he was close to my sister than me. He loved my sister more and whatever she did I end up getting scolding from him. That's the first reason why I hated him. Then when I grew older, I hated him even more for something that he did ( not prepare to tell that now ). I just couldn't let myself to forgive him or forget what he did. I never will. I don't really talk to him. If he asked me anything than I'll answer. That's all. My mum is the one I close with. She's the most amazing mum and I'm forever thankful to get a mum like her. She always been there for me. Even when I was a kid, when my dad scold me for what my sister did, she stick up for me all the time. She's everything that I have. I promised to myself that I'm gonna take care of her and be a good daughter to her. I'll make her proud and make her very happy. That is a promise that I will keep. My sister is also an amazing person. Sometimes we will fight and sometimes she's very annoying but in the end she's my sister and I can't change that. She's like my second best friend and she's always there for me. I love her and I will always be there for her.

When I was in school, I wasn't really known by a lot of people. I'm not that famous. I'm basically a shy person. I'll never talk to the people I don't know and to the people I know I can't stop talking. I didn't have that much friends but I'm glad I didn't either because I realize the more friends you have the more problem there will be. The few friends that I have now is the one I cherish the most. They accept and like me the way I am. They definitely the best ! My best friend, Alea is the most amazing and beautiful person ever. She's been there with me for 5 years. I knew her when I was 13 and I have been friends with her ever since. We did have our ups and downs but she never leave my side. Ever. And I never did too. For all this years she's been there for me and still is. She's the most greatest person I ever know and I'm glad she's my best friend. I promise that I will always be there with her till the end and I love her so very much.

When I was fourteen, I start hurting myself by cutting my hand. If you don't believe me the scars are still there on my left hand. I want it to be there to remind me how stupid I was before. Some of my friends and my sister knew about it first. I told my mum about it later. I did it because there's this friend of mine who start hurting herself and I did it so that she will stop doing that to herself. I know it sounds stupid but I cared about her and I thought what she was doing was stupid. Eventually she did stop hurting herself but I didn't. I couldn't. After that I start hurting myself for a lot of reasons like boys, friends, family problems and a lot of ridiculous stuff that didn't even matter now. I thought hurting myself would make me feel better. It did at first but when the time for me to take my shower, it hurts so bad. But I keep doing it anyway. My life was like hell when I was fourteen to early sixteen. I used to cry a lot. Always wanted to end my life. Didn't think there was a point in living. I used to be alone all the time. Hated going to school. People didn't really care about me. They think I wasn't good enough and I was stupid because I'm not really that smart. All of that hurts my feelings. Hated my life so much. Didn't even like the way I was, the way my body is. I feel fat even people around me keep telling me that I was okay. I can't even take a compliment. I completely hated everything about me. I stop cutting when I was early sixteen. I made myself to stop. I realize it was stupid of me to hurt myself for other people when they don't even feel the pain so whenever I feel myself want to do it, I just talk myself through it and it actually helps because now I'm not doing it anymore. I don't even wanna die fast cause there is so many things that I have to achieve, to see in this world and I'm not gonna give up now. Whenever I feel depressed, sad or hurt, I just smile to myself and remind myself to stay positive. It actually helps. I changed my life around. Nobody did. Nobody else will unless you do something about it. I know it's hard but you can change yourself. Be someone better. Show people that you are something. Prove them wrong. Show them what you are capable of because honestly your problems are not that big as you think.

A lot of people out there is going through real problems than you but you don't see them giving up or complaining or even want to end their life. They still living. They didn't lose hope. Then why are we? People who are sick, dying and going through a very hard time is the one with real problems. The problems that we said we have, that we are going through is not actually a huge problem. It's just a small thing that we made it huge. We have everything that we possible need and yet we still complaining that it's not enough and we want more but people who don't have anything, not even a proper food, clothing or even a proper place to stay, you don't see them complaining. They know how to appreciate everything they have and never take anything for granted. I'm gonna do everything I can from now on wards till the day I die to help as many people as I can. To give them a better life. To inspire them and give them a better and brighter future that they need and deserve. I'm thankful for everything I have and it's time for me to give back. To make other people happy and to love more. Hopefully everyone will do the same too. Learn to give more and never expect anything in return. Love as many people as you can and change as many lives as you can for the better. You can make a difference. God create us to become a better human being and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm forever thankful for everything that has happened, that is happening and also whatever gonna happen next. I will always be grateful with the life I have and will never ever change it. Lots of love .xx :) ♥